I still can’t grasp the concept that someone was murdered on my campus. I don’t even know what to think. I understand that it wasn’t random and it was her boyfriend but still. Imagine if someone was in the wrong place at the wrong time and he killed another innocent person. I’m terrified to go back tomorrow. But I’ll just be on my guard even more. No more late night runs on campus, I’m sticking to SERC. And I’m never going anywhere alone. I just don’t even know what to think. RIP, forever in our hearts and prayers ♥
I want to go home. I hate it here. I hate being away from home and I hate always doing homework and never having any fun. I miss my friends I miss my family. And I feel like I’m going to fail every class, even though I’ll probably at this rate only fail one. But even if I did go home there aren’t any colleges that I want to go to where I could commute. I love Brockport’s campus but I hate dorming and being so far away. I’m dying. All I want to do is cry right now but I can’t because my room mate is here too. And do you know how weird it is living with three people you rarely talk to? I didn’t say one word to my suite mates today and less than 10 to my actual room mate. That’s not even normal. I just hope this year gets better or I’m not going to be able to do this anymore. I’m so depressed and lonely. But if this year doesn’t get better I don’t have any more options. I’m stuck. For the next four years. A person can be miserable for four years and survive right? I mean I’ll be home for the summers and winter and spring breaks and weekends when I work the maize in the fall. So it’s less than four years actually. I can do. I hope. It’s only four years. It’s only four years. It’s only four years. People say college is the best time of your life… they’re wrong it was high school and I wish I would have known that sooner.