I want to go home. I hate it here. I hate being away from home and I hate always doing homework and never having any fun. I miss my friends I miss my family. And I feel like I’m going to fail every class, even though I’ll probably at this rate only fail one. But even if I did go home there aren’t any colleges that I want to go to where I could commute. I love Brockport’s campus but I hate dorming and being so far away. I’m dying. All I want to do is cry right now but I can’t because my room mate is here too. And do you know how weird it is living with three people you rarely talk to? I didn’t say one word to my suite mates today and less than 10 to my actual room mate. That’s not even normal. I just hope this year gets better or I’m not going to be able to do this anymore. I’m so depressed and lonely. But if this year doesn’t get better I don’t have any more options. I’m stuck. For the next four years. A person can be miserable for four years and survive right? I mean I’ll be home for the summers and winter and spring breaks and weekends when I work the maize in the fall. So it’s less than four years actually. I can do. I hope. It’s only four years. It’s only four years. It’s only four years. People say college is the best time of your life… they’re wrong it was high school and I wish I would have known that sooner.

Yesterday was so emotional for me. I never cry unless it’s related to books or movies, but I cried like a baby. Saying good bye to people I know I’ll never see again and realizing that me and my friends don’t have much time left before we all go our separate ways for college. Sure we can text, skype and hang out when we’re all home but it won’t be the same. I’m glad I made up with people who I really missed and I couldn’t be happier that she’s in my life again, I just wish it hadn’t taken a year and a half. I know who my true friends are and the ones that will forever be in my life forever, no matter the distance. Kayla, Janelle, Sarah, Meaghan, Meagan, Tyler, Sam, Brooke and Shannon; I don’t know where I would be without you guys. I love you to death ♥